Even the goat thinks I'm strange

            Its true. As I sat outside of my house with my two buckets doing my laundry, a goat passing by stopped and looked at me. It wasn’t the type of look that suggests general recognition, its gaze was of the flavor of “what in the world are you doing here”. Just a couple of days ago I was walking home from school and a young man asked me what I was doing here. He went on to explain that he has observed many Americans come and go from this town of Bafia, and he was puzzled as to what our objective was. Due to communication issues I was unable to convey that we were merely training in his village and that later, we would all be going on to separate villages with the intention of positively influencing some sector of development. But it made me think. What can a person like myself, so completely different from the people we are living with actually do to help? We come here and general day-to-day life seems insurmountable. Laundry takes an eternity, I have no faucet for water, nor a shower, ice cubes are a dream, and fast food has become more appealing in its absence than a $50 steak. Had we not a host family cooking our food and helping us with the ins and outs of life in Cameroon, I dare say that we would all be struggling to make it. Yet somehow we are all hopeful and optimistic about the prospect of changing this world we don’t even know how to fit into. It is these thoughts that daunt me daily, but also push me to surge forward. For those of us in this situation that go confidently into this work with no reservations or doubts about our capacity for good here, I commend you, yet I feel as though I am not among you.
            Fear not, this is not a testament to how I believe that what I am doing here is pointless or hopeless, it is just a truthful recognition of the grandiosity of the task at hand. I wonder, when all has been said and done for me here, who will benefit more; myself, or the village in which I am posted. I tend to side with the former. And while this has the sound of the least altruistic intentions, I believe that it is still for the benefit of the world.
            This prosperous white American has not come to Cameroon as a savior for the disadvantaged African people. No I view myself merely as a person in the world that has more want in my heart to learn from a people that live harder, and yes better than I have ever known. It is with this perspective that I humble myself, and present myself to the people here not on high, but below, eagerly aspiring to live better, and in turn use my ambitions and gifts to impart whatever positivity I can. I may not change the world, but I know will change myself. And at the very least, I will have the ability to return to America with a renewed worldview. This will be something that I will share with all that are willing and able to hear it. This I believe is enough. It is not all that I will aspire to achieve while I am here. I am yet hopeful and optimistic that in partnership with my community we can greatly affect the trajectory of the youth I will be working with. It is with cautious optimism that I continue on this journey, and every little success will be something I cherish and share with all of you.